One of the nicest kids George came to see me along with his father. I was stunned when his dad told me that he was 'acting out' with boys in the school playground and had been suspended.
There was nothing that they could consciously tell me that was causing him to touch up other children - they simply did not know
Dissociation and the subconscious mind
While speaking with them, I kept seeing a 'vision' of a young child of about 7 years of age appearing over the left shoulder of the 14 year old boy. I asked this 'vision' his name -so let's say he said it was Robert.
I then asked Robert if he could tell me what made him unhappy and he (through George) told me in graphic detail how from when he was 7 his mother had lent him out to men as a sexual plaything and that this had continued for several years.
To say his father was stunned would be an understatement. I then asked George if he knew about Robert - he said no, he knew no one of that name.
From then on I worked with both George and Robert as if there were two people in the room while his dad observed. Subconscious mind Robert knew of George but conscious mind George did not know of Robert nor did he know anything of what Robert was telling me. - it was if he was in a trance while Robert was speaking and heard nothing.
Image Credit: The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk
This illustration is taken from 'Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk' and depicts a child's illustration of her sexual abuse, you can see the child's head in the clouds whilst the body below is experiencing the sexual abuse. The child is entering into a dissociation from the trauma and by removing herself from the abuse it can become easier for her to cope with the traumatic event.
Our subconscious mind always protects us...
This 'dissociation' frequently occurs for people who have experienced trauma and is the mind's coping mechanism. Just as people who experience car accidents do not remember the actual collision, so the subconscious mind always protects us by putting the trauma into a safe place by creating another 'person' who deals with it. (The maximum number of 'others' that I have worked with is 104 in a severely traumatised boy - whereas Robert held all the memories of every incident this particular boy created a new 'other' to hold the memory for each incident and as there were 104 of them so he had 104 personalities)
Robert spoke of the abuse in a very matter of fact, unemotional but fragmented way. He was able to say his mother handed him over to a man. His next statement was that he was in a room in which the abuse happened. Each time I met with he and his father Robert told us in a detached manner (as if he was an observer not a participant) )more and more detail of the sexual abuse he had experienced.
Healing the trauma & emotions
I identified each emotion Robert had felt - his fear, anger, rage, humiliation and then with each emotion identified I asked him to imagine a balloon the colour of the emotion and send this balloon out the sun to be destroyed. I did not ask him to discuss or describe the abuse, nor to relive it nor to feel any emotions around it. He had already experienced it so did not have to relive it nor risk being retraumatised.
"Endless discussion of the trauma cements it into the subconscious mind"
I do not believe in making a person go over and over their trauma trying to understand it. I believe they want it gone so they can get on with their life without the flashbacks and acting out and so each time they release something of it, no matter how small, the impact of the trauma lessens.
Apart from the absolute tragedy of this past abuse, it was fascinating to see how each time I met with George and Robert the story of the abuse slowly unfolded and then after about 3-4 sessions George began to make comments on what had happened. George's conscious mind started to become aware of what had been hidden in his subconscious mind but without him experiencing or reliving the trauma.
Past emotions released & reintegration of self
Finally George voluntarily told his dad and me exactly what had happened - his mum had handed him over to men from when he was 7, sometimes just one man and sometimes several men - he was able to give us the story of his experiences but this time with a timeline. He had released the emotions from the trauma, he had integrated his subconscious mind with his conscious mind and Robert disappeared.
George asked his dad if he could prevent his mother ever seeing him again; that he had no respect for her and wanted to choose his own life and experiences from now on.
Many clients traumatised...
George is just one of many clients with dissociation I have worked with who have experienced trauma either from being in an accident, experiencing or witnessing an abuse, being a veteran from a war zone . It didn't matter what caused the trauma as I was able to tune into the subconscious mind, identify the thoughts, beliefs and emotions held there and assist the client to let them go.
Once they released them the mind became fully aware and without the emotional charge that would normally be there they were able to make discerning choices. Their quality of life improved often dramatically. George no longer acted out at school and was able to reestablish himself and his social life. He has not seen his mother since then.
If you are suffering from dissociation or extreme trauma, and would like to me to work with you applying the above technique (of working with the individual 'personas' ) You can find out more here: https://www.mangotiger.com.au/services