A number of my clients have come to see me because, no matter how much effort they put in, they always find themselves struggling with "Overcoming Second Best Syndrome.
More frustrating they see people who are less suitable get the promotion, while they are told you'll be next! WHAT?! This happens time and time again - no matter what they work at whether it is in sport (they come 2nd); work (they are held back from promotions); restaurant (they are ALWAYS served 2nd no matter how many are sitting at the table!)
This becomes so frustrating because it is not just happening occasionally - it happens all the time - even waiting for a table in a restaurant Marie said she was first in line until the maitre'd brought forward the person standing behind her and she had to wait for the next table!
Marie told me she had an older brother whom she loved deeply and they had a great relationship. However when I checked into her subconscious mind I found that like so many of my other clients she believed she had to come second because she was 2nd born.
Furthermore as a little girl she had unconsciously decided that she could never come first as that was her elder brother's role ( his right as it were) and if she came first then in some way she would hurt him. She remembered her mother always saying - "this is my first child and Marie is second." Those words said often enough had imprinted on her subconscious mind and so she formed the belief that she had to be second.
Her subconscious mind cannot judge, it cannot tell the difference between being 2nd ( born) and being 2nd (in everything).
So because of this belief deeply embedded and reinforced every time her mum said "... and Marie is second," her subconscious mind made sure she came second in everything and as she grew up this belief continued to rule her life.
A belief no matter how strongly held is only a thought - it is not a tangible thing and so It was a simple task to get her to let go of it. I asked her to imagine her little self and get her to agree that being born second was a chronological birth order and not a rule to be lived by. She then gave little self permission to be first knowing that this would not hurt her older brother nor offend her mother.
I had her replay her mother's words in her mind taking them from "this is my first child and Marie is second' to "these are my children" - she imagined her mother smiling and looking at both her children with total love and acceptance and of them being equal. She stayed with this image until it felt true.
I then had her check into the rest of her life and release any thoughts of being second, and diffuse any situations where there was an emotional impact from coming second.
This simple change in her belief freed her up to achieve whatever she wanted. Marie rang me very excitedly to say the very next time she and friends went to a restaurant she was served first!
Click here to find out more information about your subconscious mind.
