I have always written my books in a coffee shop, worked around and with people, love noise yet can still concentrate. In fact if I don't have people and noise around me I start to wind down, become demotivated and get the blahs!!
With the Victorian lockdown now going on for 9 months where all we can do is go to WooliesColes or the park for a walk I notice that it every now and then it takes me longer to get that same level of motivation that I have in a 'normal' world. So knowing I need people around me I go for a walk every hour just so that I am near people. I always chat to them about their dogs if they have one and so I get my stimulation from them.
Feeling demotivated and your conscious and subconscious minds
Some people like me are stimulated by the things that go on around them. We need to speak with 7 different people every day to remain motivated and feel alive - this may well have come from the fact that I grew up in a family of 7 and therefore my subconscious mind is trying to recreate that noisy homelife of my childhood so that I feel safe and secure.
Being demotivated is one of the worst feelings in the world. You feel as though you have no direction and despite the fact that you are not getting any enjoyment out of getting nowhere, you feel no urgency or drive to make the effort to change your situation.
So have a look at the following and see if any of them apply to you
You are working without Purpose
The biggest reason you may be feeling demotivated is that you don't have a recognisable purpose. You feel as though you are doing things simply for the sake of doing them rather than working towards something.
I often hear people say they don’t know what their purpose is –I have a friend who often said to me :if only the universe would show me what it wants me to do" yet your purpose is to do the things that make you happy and free. That’s it! If we are doing the things that make us happy (and don’t hurt anyone else) then we are living our life purpose.
Through doing the things we love we will influence everyone we come in contact with for the better. The gardener who is passionate about his or her garden gives joy (and a few plants) to people who walk by –thus enhancing their life.
The architect who designs beautiful houses because he/she loves design – will always build the perfect house for their client. The energy of the house will be a positive one. And this in turn affects the energy of everyone living in that house.
Fear - of success; of failure
When we fear success we refuse to move forward and become stuck, only achieving so much on a daily basis.
Subconscious messages from childhood
This may come from subconscious messages you have taken in from your family in your childhood e.g did you have perfectionist parents - that you had to get 100% on anything before they would praise your efforts. Did they tell you you were a failure and you believed them? Did they point out large homes or expensive cars and sneer at the people who owned them -so that you became afraid of success because there was something intrinsically wrong with the people who succeeded? did they tell you in many subtle and not so subtle ways that you would fail no matter what you tried to do?
Whether this is an obstacle you have created for yourself in your professional or your personal life, it becomes more difficult to break free of this cycle as each day passes. This, in turn, manifests into discontent and demotivation.
So, what can you do about this fear when it affects your motivation levels?
The first thing to do is to realise that you are putting off progress because you are afraid.
Next, ask yourself what you are afraid of and don’t be surprised if you hear a little child answer- just chat with him or her until they tell you why they are afraid and then continue helping them to dissolve the fear. All the while assure this internal child you are there for them and will be with them no matter what happens
Your reasons don't match your values
Say, for example, that you are currently working in a job that pays well but isn’t truly fulfilling.
You know you are working for the financial stability and this keeps you there but it is not truly what you want to do. It does not suit your values which reflect your life purpose (otherwise you would be happy being there)
This slowly wears you down and, because the position provides no purpose for you, you don’t have any real motivation
Start looking around for a job that you will love that matches your values and as soon as you can, move. Meanwhile, while you are looking around, do the absolute best for that position - work as if you love it – this will change your energy, draw a new job to you and your energy will be positive for your interview.
You take on too much
It’s great to be ambitious and it is also perfectly fine to take on quite a bit of work and achieve as much as you can during the day. However, when you take on too much, you stretch yourself too thin and become burnt out rather quickly.
If you’re too overwhelmed by the many projects you are pursuing, you are less likely to want to do them. If you fall behind, you lose further motivation so the circle continues round.
The key to staying motivated is first working out why you feel you must take on everything – what are you trying to prove to yourself or to others? there will be a subconscious belief that you are not good enough-Find this first and let it go, it is not serving you.
Goals that are too big
Do your goals look like this:
I want to launch my website and fill it with blogs every day.
Rather than this:
I want to launch my website by the end of next month and write two blogs each week
for my new website.
The difference between the two goals is that one is far too large and vague while the other one is achievable and specific.
Think about your to-do list. Why is it filled with endless tasks that seem impossible or is it filled with small steps that foster achievement and excite you when you finish them?
What does this tell you about your subconscious mind? What is it that you are believing about yourself that you would want to sabotage your chance of doing something positive?
Childhood beliefs still held in the subconscious mind ...
Perhaps for example, from your childhood you are in competition with a sibling who you believe can do everything better than you so you started to think : What's the use. they always win/ are better than me anyway? Your list of things to do looks as if you are working but it also allows you to do nothing so that you don’t emotionally compete with your brother or sister.
Self-sabotage - conscious mind
Perhaps you know that you don’t have the skills/ability or knowledge to do what you want to do. If this is the case then it might be a simple matter of going to learn how to do the thing you want to do.
Self-sabotage - subconscious mind
Perhaps you believe others don’t think you’re capable of achievement and are purposely sabotaging yourself to prove them right. After all they can’t be wrong in their judgement of you, can they?
You believe you should have achieved more by now
There is an old saying:”30 years to be an overnight success” - all success starts at one point and then through taking small steps every day towards a goal, progress is made.
Everyone has a starting point – if you do one thing a day towards your goal then you will have taken 365 steps forward by the end of year.
That’s progress.
Comparing yourself with others
If you still feel you haven’t achieved enough it may be that deep down you are comparing yourself to someone else without you being aware of it. it does not have to be someone wyou can identify - it might just be a vague feeling that you must be /do better.
But you don’t know what their life purpose is, nor do you know what their life really is like as you can only see what is visible to you - so don’t compare. You are living your life not theirs.
You have created a habit of not doing anything
Some people have plenty to do but they choose to not do it simply because they don’t feel like it.
And when they finally sit down to take responsibility and move forward, they wonder why they have difficulty getting things done.
The first thing to do is to find the thought, belief or emotion that stopped you in your tracks. It is generally something from your childhood. Rate it on a scale of 0-10 - 10 being the highest rating.
Once you find it, or even just think you may have found it, do this EFT technique to remove it so you can move forward. Start tapping the top of your head as you say: "even though I can’t do (anything/ this thing) I accept myself completely and deeply.” Keep tapping and repeating this sentence until you have removed it or you can rate it between 0-2. Then take a deep breath to release the rest of it.
Alternatively, once you find the thought belief or emotion that is stopping you, send it out to the sun to be destroyed. Don’t worry, your subconscious mind will obey you and you will release it.
Keep searching for these negative thoughts, beliefs or emotions and letting them go -by releasing them, you will change your life!
You are in your comfort zone
Underwhelm sets in when you are accomplishing less rather than doing what you know you are perfectly capable of doing.
To find the root cause of this,(it's sitting there in your subconscious mind) sit quietly and ask your mind: “Why do I feel this way?”
Trust your mind and it will tell you –Listen to the answer no matter how silly it sounds then act on what you get. I have had people tell me their mind wanted jelly beans and they scoffed at that as being foolish.
Yet when i asked them to imagine they had a packet of jelly beans, images came from when they were younger and feeling nurtured by a parent who gave them the lollies as a way of bribing them to do something.. So they, as adults, were playing out this childhood need for a bribe/nurturing to get them to do something.
It is a simple matter then to change the reward from being before they did something to after they achieved. Its the same thing really just one is a childhood motivator while the other is an adult reward.
If you need any help with any of these de-motivators, I am here to help you
