The joy of childhood spending
Do you remember that feeling of pure joy when as a child, you received money to spend?
Even if you received the money to buy your sibling a birthday present or perhaps Christmas presents for your family, you also received a subliminal message that a gift of money meant you have to spend it.
Yes, there was that rush of excitement and the endless possibilities of what presents you could buy with it. For many of us, this was our first introduction to money.
As children, we're also given money on special occasions such as birthdays or holidays. It's presented as a gift - something to be enjoyed immediately.
We rush out to spend it on toys, candy, or whatever catches our fancy.
The hidden seed planted in our subconscious mind
But it also planted a seed in our subconscious mind of gift-spend i.e. if we are given money we need to spend it, and this gift-spend belief may be hindering our financial growth today.
Fast forward to adulthood. We earn salaries and bonuses but find ourselves living pay check-to-pay check or struggling to save up for future goals. Why? Because that childhood belief is still ingrained in our subconscious mind as ‘if I receive money, I must spend it."
Now because our subconscious mind believes it must spend the money, we will always find things to spend it on even while consciously being aware that ’I should save.‘
Our subconscious mind rules our world
Our subconscious mind rules our world – whatever it believes it will create.
Therefore to change these limiting beliefs we must change the subconscious mind.
Now comes the question: How do we unlearn this deep-seated 'gift-spend' mentality?
The steps to changing our subconscious gift-spend belief
The first step towards change is awareness. Reflect on your spending habits. Can you see a pattern of spending all the money you get? Do you always have some emergency that crops up just when you have some money in the bank? Do you tend to splurge whenever there's extra cash at hand? If yes, then you're likely stuck in the 'gift-spend' cycle.
Now you have recognised your pattern, understand that there's no guilt nor shame in this. It is just a childhood belief and that can be changed.
Next, take the time to ask yourself at what age you took this into your subconscious mind. It will usually be a child of about 2-4 years of age.
Your inner child
Once you find your inner child you need to speak with them. Assure them they are safe to let this belief go, explain that this is not helping you as an adult to be able to afford the things you need such as a house or even a holiday.
Continue to chat with your inner child showing them all the benefits of letting this belief go until they know they are safe to save.
Money vs mummy
Sometimes your subconscious mind believes that you can’t have money because your inner child has confused the words ‘money’ with ‘mummy’. To a child they sound similar.
So if your mummy was absent or busy with your siblings or for whatever reason you believed ‘I can’t have mummy’ then you may well believe “I can’t have money” as the inner child has not differentiated between the two words.
To change this, show your inner child the two words and make sure they understand the difference between the two.
Your subconscious mind will believe anything you give it as it cannot judge, so if your inner child can now see the difference between the two words then you will release the belief “I can’t have money ‘ from the belief “ I can’t have mummy.”
It is worth it to re-educate your subconscious mind since having money is not merely for immediate gratification but also for long-term security and growth.
Train your mind to increased savings
Start saving a percentage of your income. This trains your subconscious mind to increasing your savings. As you see your savings account grow you constantly reinforce the belief that you have 'increasing savings" and you will find many opportunities to save more- Opportunities that you were not able to see before.
That is the power of your subconscious mind - what it believes, it creates.
If you start treating extra income such as work bonuses, tax refunds, gifts, winnings as opportunities for saving imagine how much more secure you would feel knowing you have a safety net for emergencies or funds for future investments.
Start small to change the subconscious mind from gift-spend
Most wealthy people start with small savings and as they watch their saving grow their subconscious mind kicks in to help build their wealth; they become more discerning about their spending, and make growth investments – essentially saving and growing wealth simultaneously. This principle applies equally well to personal finance.
Practice mindfulness when you receive monetary gifts. If there is something you absolutely want then feel free to purchase it but only if you have assessed that you need it, love it and will use it.
Also consider whether this money would serve a better purpose if some of it was saved or invested.
Delay gratification
Practice delayed gratification: This will help you make more thoughtful and beneficial financial decisions.
Many times you will find that just by waiting an hour or two or even overnight, you realise you no longer need that item.
Pay yourself first
Create a savings plan: Allocate a certain percentage (say 10%-20% or more) of your income towards savings or investments before spending on anything else.
This 'pay yourself first' strategy can significantly boost your savings over time.
Compound interest is your friend. The Government has it worked out – it takes your tax out BEFORE you are paid your salary, so do the same for yourself.
By saving first you have peace of mind because you can pay your bills and your future is looked after too.
The Power of positive affirmation
You might also like to engage in positive affirmations. Tell yourself daily:
"I make wise financial decisions." Over time, these affirmations will help rewire your subconscious beliefs about money, you will stop any associated hidden spending urges and you will draw to you opportunities that were not available to you beforehand.
Seek Professional help: As your money increases consider getting financial planning advice. Study up on financial investments and read great books such as The Barefoot Investor by Scott Page, Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki and The Richest Man in Babylon.
Remember, money is not just for spending; it's also for saving, investing, and growing.
By letting go of the childhood gift-spend belief you open yourself up to greater financial freedom and prosperity.
Create resilience
You will have greater resilience to the world's financial markets, increased house prices, higher rents and more expensive goods and services.
So next time you receive some extra cash, tune into your subconscious mind to find the inner child and speak with them so that they agree to use it to enhance your future - whether that's by adding it to your savings account, investing or even starting a side business.
Breaking free
Breaking free from the 'gift-spend' cycle will allow you to see a significant change in your financial health over time.
I'd love to hear about your experiences with this issue of gift-spend! Have you managed to break free from the 'gift-spend' cycle? Share your stories below!